I just really want to say...

"I made it!" Saying those words make me so happy... even if its just a fantasy.

Burnt Out.

I am spending money that I do not have right now. But will have next week. WHAT A CONCEPT! But its cool.

I love working at Hot Dog on a Stick.The pay isn't that lousy but it still isn't worthwhile (even with my twenty-five cent raise wink*wink) but I love it nonetheless. This week has been my spring break and I was going to go down to San Diego but that was a bust. So I ended up staying here in Torrance. I have seen some of my friends but I haven't hang out with the two that I really want to see.

So instead, I have been working. Originally I was only scheduled to work Saturday (Opening), Sunday (Opening, but switched to Middle), Monday (Opening, but I switched to Middle), Wednesday (Middle), and Saturday...I switched this to Friday (Closing)... Well it sounds like a lot of days but it is over two weeks so it really isn't. I think it is the perfect amount of days. I would love to work three-four days a week... SPREAD OUT OF COURSE. But to add to these days... I covered a shift at Westside on Tuesday and tomorrow I will be covering a shift at Del Amo... both middle shifts. This means... I will be working seven days in a row. Not all seven days in a week. but seven days in a row. One can imagine that I am really burnt out.

I have auditions this Saturday and Sunday. I really do not expect anything out of it but I really want to get at least a call back.

I am bored out of my MIND! And when I get bored... WATCH OUT.

I promise this is it! - Life is okay.

I am guilty of having more than one site for my blogs... But I decided that this is it!

I promise. This will be it! I do not ask for comments, because this is more for me than for anyone else. The fact that it is online just gives me the ability to share my inner thoughts with my friends.

Yes so on to the post!

Well my friends have noticed that I have not been as happy as I usually am. I did not realize how unhappy I have become. I started the year off great! I was excited for the program, I lacked any drama, and I just started college... What more could a boy want? Well the middle year (December) did get stressful but it was worth it. Alas now, I find myself at the point of tears randomly? WHY? I hope I am not depressed. But honestly, I just find that this stupid program to be so disheartening. I know, that if this is really something I want to do, than even if I do not make the program, I should continue to pursue my dream, but I do not have the confidence that others have. My whole life has been some jerk trying to tear me down and I guess they have done their job because I do not believe in myself.

I accomplished so much this year, why is it that I only can focus on the things that I did not get?